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Topic: Any advice?
Posted By Message
View profile for Flutechick728
Started on: 4/9/2002 5:28:46 PM
Ok-so it seems that my last message was deleted due to the indication of foul language-if any of you were offended I am truly sorry I was just relating what had been said to me. I am going to post the message again and will omit the term. So I am trying to get advice on a fight that my roommate/friend and I had today. It seems that lately all we do is fight and I don't know what to do. Here is the background-about 2 months ago my friends boyfriend propositioned me to have an affair behind her back(3 days before their 1 year anniversary). Not knowing what to do I went to another friend and asked for advice only to find out that he had done the same thing to her. We talked about it and decided that our friend(my roommate) needed to know what was going on. Upon telling her she broke up with him and was miserable for a long time. I was there for her talking, brushing away tears, and just sitting with her at night. Well recently they have reunited and are secretly dating again. I don't have a problem that they are together, but I do have a problem when I asked her, she flat out lied to me. That makes me mad. Anyways, that has gotten me annoyed at her, but not enough to start an argument, but here is what did-another friend and I are giving a recital next month as part of our degree requirements and my friend(roommate) was to be the page turner. Well, today my friend(recital partner) and I decided on getting a new page turner because in the past she has missed two performances. Well she got offeded and started calling me names and saying that I was not a good friend because we did not trust her, but how could we when she has bailed on us in the past-Twice! I explained to her that it was nothing against her as a friend but that I needed to ensure someone would be there since this affects my career. She again called me names and told me that I was an unfaithful friend and that I never listened to her and that she could not trust me to listen to her when she had problems! I could be wrong, but I thought I was being a good friend by telling her that her boyfriend was a loser and then taking care of her while she got over him. Anyway, my question is what do I do to resolve this situation-it is completely unpleasant living with her right now and she is my best friend-I don't want to lose her but it seems every time I start to discuss the issue she goes off on a tangent and we never resolve anything. Help me please!~Amanda~
View profile for Salsamaker
Posted on: 4/9/2002 5:32:15 PM
You need to give her time to digest everything that is going on. No need to worry about her, you need to continue to concentrate on YOUR FUTURE and getting your degree. She will come around in her own time. Until then, be cordial but don't bring it up anymore. She'll let you know when she is ready to discuss it like adults.
Miss Angel
View profile for Miss Angel
Posted on: 4/10/2002 12:25:05 PM
I agree Salsamaker. I also think that it's important that you recognize "what" you are really arguing about. It doesn't read like it is about page turning. It's more about communication. When the two of you can really talk about what's bothering you, maybe the tension will ease up. It takes time to process things. Just acknowledge that your feelings are hurt and take care of yourself until the two of you are ready to talk about it. Good luck!
View profile for Michele
Posted on: 4/10/2002 1:10:22 PM
I emailed ya!
View profile for Flutechick728
Posted on: 4/10/2002 3:41:52 PM
Thanks-you guys are awesome!~Amanda~

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